Parental inattention

It's almost summer vacation.... that means there will be kids here all day long. I just spent a week with them on vacation and let me tell you, it was not the blissful, relaxing, harmonious fun-filled time I was imagining it would be. My kids will fight over literally anything. They will fight over who is doing something annoying, has something they want, might get something they won't get, and any number of other real or imaginary crimes. I don't want to complain about my children; of course I love them very much and there were moments of peace and greatness, but I was angry at them for most of the vacation. Is this normal? Are other people not yelling at their kids to get along, stop whining, and quit asking for things? Our typical day was spent negotiating with them about where we would swim (pool/beach- which pool, where on the beach), where we would eat, and what else we would do. And no one wanted to do the same thing. EVER. The kid who didn't get their way would whine. I would yell about the whining. ARGH.


You all know my addiction to crappy tv, so you won't be surprised to know that Supernanny is among the shows that I watch. So I checked out the website for the show, to see what my friend Jo would do with fighting sisters. Here's what I have decided a possible (probable) issue is: me. Dammit Supernanny. She says that kids fight because of reasons like boredom, accumulated resentments, issues (feelings of frustration/injustice), and parental inattention. I am pretty sure this is what is going on at my house. The girls are constantly trying to talk over each other or get my attention and then fighting about who is talking more, etc. See- my fault. Supernanny also says that trying to stop the fighting by punishing the kids is the wrong way to resolve the issue. So yelling and taking stuff away doesn't work. The thing to do would be to give the girls each some one on one attention. I am usually so irritated that I just want to get away from the fighting. I must come up with a plan. I will let you know...

As far as the resentments that they have for each other and the issues that they fight over, I don't think that I caused them, but I haven't helped them resolve them very well. I either punish them or take someone's side. I know this is wrong, but I also know who the offender usually is so yes, I sometimes believe one child over another. Their fighting drains me, and I just want it to end quickly. Somewhere Supernanny is shaking her head. If only for my own sanity, I will try to employ better conflict resolution strategies. Here is the link to the Supernanny article http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Family-Matters/-/Relationships/Sibling-rivalry-remedies.aspx

We did have fun. The girls swam almost every second of every day. I read a whole book. Todd got to go to the casino. Now we have to survive summer vacation.

Punta Cana 2013- no one fighting in this one